a new year, a new website! thank god for amy champagne who snapped me into updating my work. you are the best!
the evolution of my business (and website and brand) has been years in the making. i’ve slowly determined what i love to shoot and what i don’t. (no-thank-you to corporate head shots but YES, PLEASE to weddings + families.) when we decided to try and have a family, i genuinely wondered if motherhood AND business were going to be for me. i knew i loved my job and i desperately wanted to be a mother. i feared that i’d have to choose between them and ultimately be left feeling like I had lost a part of me.
after having everett, i took on a relatively busy work schedule the following season. i had a long maternity leave with him and couldn’t wait to get back into the groove of things. with the arrival of caroline in the spring of 2018 (and after the worst pregnancy in the whole world), i headed back to work even faster; 5 weeks post giving birth. my season was and i found juggling motherhood of two small kiddos really challenging. i spent 2018 really thinking about what makes me happy. i watched so many fellow mommas juggling the “what do I really want in life" question. my best friend and i laughed during a phone conversation one day over the whole “what will i think when i’m on my deathbed and looking back at my life” discussion. i think that question has been posed to me a hundred times since having everett. everyone told me that i’d know what i wanted to do when i could answer that.
truth? i’ve watched a lot of fellow mommas walk away from their careers. they bravely choose their children to be first, often taking a step back from a career where they were thriving + successful. i, like others, praise them for their selflessness + dedication to their families. it’s a decision that i don’t think ever comes easily. but at the same time, i’ve sat here quietly shameful that i DON’T WANT TO WALK AWAY. that I want to take on more work + be even more invested in my business than i have been. that i want to be SELFISH. that when I think about what i will think when I am on my deathbed is that there just simply wasn’t enough time to take all the photos i wanted to take and there simply wasn’t enough time to be with my kids. but i know for certain that I NEED both my work AND my children in my life. and at exponentially dramatic levels. i want it all + for now, i am not about to say that it’s impossible.
so with 2019, i’m taking DOUBLE the weddings i took last year. and while the majority of my world seems to think i am crazy + may regret this, i know in my heart that this is what i want. i’m taking a lot of my administrative work, emails + invoicing and streamlining them by using a new CRM system that should help manage a lot of time-consuming things that don’t involve me using my camera. butttttt, my weekends for the year are all but completely gone. (i have two dates left for 2019.) i’ll still be taking lifestyle work, especially when so many of my brides are going off + making beautiful families of their own that i need to capture! but the mini sessions that happen in spring + fall will be dramatically less so please secure a spot when they are released. my lifestyle sessions will continue to be thoughtful, curated, special + meaningful - there just won’t be as many openings as in the past. there just aren’t enough days in the year for all my dreams!
so, thank you. if you were a bride 9 years ago when i first started out or are a sweet + loyal IG follower; thank you for helping bring immense joy to my life + giving me a sense of purpose + excitement each day. i’ve often talked about “my personal well” on IG before - and how life, motherhood, worries, etc, all drain my well. the work i take on, the clients i am honored to know, the memories i get to capture - they all fill my well up to the tip-top again. i’m left feeling like i couldn’t want anything more in my life. here’s to 2019!